To Be The Better Man
by CorinaJayden1
Summary: "It's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What's hard," she said, "is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about." Will Severus, a scrawny Slytherin, learn this lesson before it's too late?
1. Ordinary Wizarding Levels

Severus Snape was currently settled in the middle of the Great Hall. In the place of the four house tables stood more than a hundred smaller tables, all facing the same direction, at each of which sat a student, head bent low, scribbling away intently on a roll of parchment. The only sound was the scratching of quills and the occasional rustle as somebody adjusted their parchment. No surprise there. It was exam time, so that was sort of a given. Everyone was too busy concentrating on their papers. They had to do well on their OWLs. These were no regular end of year exams.

Sunshine was streaming through the high windows on to the bent heads bellow, which shone chestnut and copper and gold in the bright light.

Severus had a rather stringy, pallid look about him, like a plant kept in the dark. His hair was lank and greasy and was flopping on to the table, his hooked nose barely half an inch from the surface of the parchment as he scribbled on a piece of parchment headed: DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS - ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL. This particular subject was one of Severus' best, next to Potions. Severus had always been more suited to the world of academics than to the usual teenage antics. He had a distinct preference of being in a library or sitting in the common room in an enjoyable book over most social endeavours. To put it bluntly, he rather disliked being social. Oh, he _could_ be social when he wanted to. He just didn't have the patience most of the time to deal with halfwits.

Quite proud of the fact he was far from a dunderhead, he had little problems with any of the written questions. In the same vein, he took particular pleasure, during the practical examination, in performing all the counter-jinxes and defensive spells correctly. In fact, the examiner was especially delighted when he performed a perfect nonverbal Reductor Curse.

In any case, his hand was currently gliding swiftly across the parchment; he had written at least a foot more than his closest neighbours, and yet his writing was, as usual, minuscule, and cramped.

"Five more minutes!"

At this, he hastily moved to finish his last question and check his answers. Nothing stood out, and he felt quite satisfied with what he had written.

He had been quite thorough and didn't think he'd missed anything important. He may have gone overboard on a point or two, but that fact would likely work in his favour, frankly. It was an exam meant to test knowledge, after all.

"Quills down, please!" squeaked Professor Flitwick. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment!" At that, Severus couldn't hold back a smirk. Small pleasures. " _Accio!_ "

Everyone's parchments soared to Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him off of his feet. Several people laughed, but Severus ignored the scene, bored. All he wanted was to find a place to sit and review the examination paper. A couple of over-helpful students near the front got up, took hold of Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows, and lifted him onto his feet again.

"Thank you ... thank you," panted Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

With that, Severus picked up his bag, sticking his quill into it, and swinging it onto his shoulder. Making his way through the tables, towards the doors to the Entrance Hall, he picked up the examination paper and began to look it over. He immediately dismissed question one, it had been easy…

A gang of chattering girls separated him from Potter, Black and Lupin, not that he noticed the fact, absorbed in his paper as he was. The group of Marauders were happily chatting away, discussing the exam.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius Black as they emerged into the Entrance Hall.

"Loved it," a second boy, Remus Lupin, said briskly. "Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question."

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" James Potter inquired in tones of feigned concern.

"Think I did," said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin."

Wormtail was the only one who didn't laugh.

"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but I couldn't think what else—"

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" said Potter impatiently, turning to Peter Pettigrew. "Your best friend _is_ one!"

Severus remained close by, still buried in his exam questions. Unbeknownst to him, when Potter and his three friends strode off down the lawn towards the lake, Severus unwittingly followed, still poring over the exam paper and apparently with no fixed idea of where he was going. Question nine had been somewhat difficult…

Moving to towards the edge of the lake, he settled himself on the grass in the dense shadow of a clump of bushes, where he would be less likely to be noticed, and where he could go over the exam paper in peace. It didn't take that much longer; most of the questions he had had no real problem with…

While Severus was as deeply engrossed in the O.W.L paper as ever, the Marauders were gathered under a nearby tree. The sunlight was dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake, on the bank of which the group of laughing girls who had just left the Great Hall were sitting, with their shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the water.

He got up, stowing the O.W.L. paper in his bag, thinking vaguely that he might go up to the library and work on Transfiguration in preparation for that exam the following day. With that thought, he began making his way up towards the castle.

Unfortunately, as he left the shadows of the bushes and set off across the grass, just out of his line of sight, Potter and Black stood up.

"All right, Snivellus?" asked a loud, arrogant voice.

Severus whipped around, dropping his bag, and plunging his hand into the pocket of his robes for his wand. Potter was always hexing and cursing him. This was nothing new. He was sick of it. Oh, how he'd love to hex the arrogant git. His wand was halfway into the air when Potter shouted, " _Expelliarmus_!"

His wand shot out of his hand, landing with a little thud in the grass behind him. Black let out a bark of laughter at seeing Severus' agitation. He never did well with feeling helpless.

Burning with anger, Severus dove for his wand.

 _"Impedimenta_!" Black said, knocking Severus off his feet, not for the first time in his life.

Students all around had begun turning around to watch. Some of them had gotten to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others definitely had an entertained air about them.

Severus lay panting on the ground. Potter and Black advanced on him, wands raised, Potter glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he went. Pettigrew was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" came Potter's voice.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," Black said viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Several people watching the spectacle laughed; Severus was hardly the most popular student. Well, frankly that was an understatement. Severus was far from a people person, which was perfectly justified in his opinion. In any case, the Marauders were rather high up the Hogwarts food chain. If James Potter, Gryffindor golden boy, said something was wrong with the bookish, socially awkward, impoverished, Slytherin then there was. That was all there was to it.

Of course, he did have one or two friends, but honestly... next to none of them would bother standing up to a pure-blood over a mere half-blood from working-class Manchester that they more or less just tolerated. His friends actually found half the occurrences funny, unfortunately. He'd tried to cover up his working-class accent, but still. His rough background still found other ways to show. The second hand, tattered, robes and books were not so easily fixed.

Pettigrew sniggered shrilly. Severus was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

"You - wait," he panted, staring up at Potter with an expression of purest loathing, "you - wait!"

"Wait for what?" said Black coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

Severus let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened. He was out of luck. _Damn it all._

"Wash out your mouth," said Potter coldly. _"Scourgify!"_

Pink soap bubbles streamed from his mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him. Merlin, the soap tasted ghastly.

"Leave him ALONE!"

Potter and Black looked around. James Potter's free hand immediately jumped up to his hair.

One of the girls that had been relaxing by the lake edge has made their way over. If he hadn't been able to see her, he would have recognised that lofty voice anywhere. How could he not? It was Lily.

His best friend.

Lily had stunning green almond-shaped eyes and thick, dark red, hair that fell to her shoulders. She also had a fiery temper to match. She also happened to be one of Severus' only real friends. They had met well before ever attending Hogwarts. He'd been the one to tell her she was a witch. Not that that had particularly gone well.

 _"You are," he said to Lily. "You are a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, and I'm a wizard. "_

 _Petunia's laugh was like icy water._

 _"Wizard!" she shrieked, her courage returned now that she had recovered from the shock of his unexpected appearance. "I know who you are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river," she told Lily, and it was evident from her tone that she considered the address a poor recommendation. Well, he couldn't exactly blame her. Not when he agreed completely. He didn't appreciate it being thrown in his face, however. "Why have you been spying on us?"_

 _"Haven't been spying," he said, hot and uncomfortable and dirty-haired in the bright sunlight. "Wouldn't spy on you, anyway," he added spitefully, "you're a Muggle."_

 _Though Petunia evidently did not understand the word, she could hardly mistake the tone._

 _"Lily, come on, we're leaving!" she said shrilly. Lily obeyed her sister at once, glaring at Severus as she left. He stood watching them as they marched through the playground gate, and Severus was unable to hide the bitter disappointment he felt._

Thankfully, their next meeting had gone a lot smoother, and they had quickly become good friends. They'd spent most of their time together, before Hogwarts. Even after starting Hogwarts, they were inseparable the first few summers.

These last few years though, something had shifted. They'd both been growing apart. They knew it. If only the Sorting had gone differently… The House rivalry between the Gryffindors and Slytherins wasn't exactly helping things.

"All right, Evans?" said Potter, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature. _The arrogant show-off._

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated. She was looking at Potter with every sign of great dislike. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," said Potter, appearing to deliberate the point, "it's more the fact that he exists if you know what I mean..."

Many of the surrounding students laughed, Black and Pettigrew included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn't, and nor did Lily.

"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said Potter quickly. "Go on... go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Severus was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the Giant Squid," Lily retorted.

Ouch, that had to hurt Potter's overinflated ego.

Severus wondered briefly where he measured on that scale. He snorted. At least he knew he was still higher up than the Giant Squid – if only marginally. Not that anyone would find that a particular challenge… Not even Pettigrew, Severus suspected.

"Bad luck, Prongs!" said Black briskly, and turned back to Severus. "OI!"

The warning came too late; Severus had already directed his wand straight at James Potter; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of Potter's face, spattering his robes with blood. Potter whirled about: a second flash of light later, Severus was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered; Black, Potter and Pettigrew roared with laughter.

Lily's furious expression twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile. How could she find this funny? Did she really...? The thought of her actually finding this amusing stung. Wasn't she supposed to be his best friend?

"Let him down!" she said, restraining herself.

"Certainly," said Potter and the boy jerked his wand upwards; Severus fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Black said, _"Petrificus Totalus!"_ and Severus keeled over again, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. Both Black and Potter eyed it warily.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said Potter earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

Potter sighed deeply, then turned to Severus and muttered the counter-curse.

"There you go," he said as Severus struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus -"

Severus was seeing red. Lucky? Lucky!

"I don't need help from filthy little _Mudbloods_ like her!"

With a wave of horror, Severus realised what he'd just said. Oh, Merlin... of all the things that he could have said to her, he had to say that. Lily blinked, evidently shocked at what he'd said. It was really demeaning, and for it to come from Severus himself…

"Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

He winced.

"Apologise to Evans!" Potter roared at Severus, his wand pointed threateningly at him. _Not in front of you, I won't. That'll only make the situation worse._ He'd apologise but NOT here and not like this.

"I don't want you to make him apologise," Lily shouted, rounding on Potter. "You're as bad as he is."

"What?" Potter yelped. "I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"

As usual, Lily didn't miss a beat.

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."

She turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!' Potter shouted after her. "Oi, EVANS!"

But she didn't look back.

"What is it with her?" said Potter, trying, and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Black. _Damn straight you are, you complete arse._

"Right," said Potter, who looked furious now, "right -"

There was another flash of light, and Severus was once again hanging upside-down in the air.

 _Just bloody brilliant. Where's Slughorn when you need him? Probably planning his next little party._

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

 _Oh, bloody hell._ Bracing himself, he closed his eyes. It was a futile gesture, but his brain was telling him if he couldn't see the crowd's reactions he could pretend this wasn't actually happening.

Of course, that didn't stop him from being able to hear the taunts and jeers.

He was absolutely mortified as he soaked in the laughter. His head was beginning to spin. He'd never live this down for as long as he'd live. So much for trying to keep any amount of dignity intact.

When it was finally over, Severus ran from the scene with a speed he didn't know himself capable of – head down, as he was unwilling to meet anyone's eyes. All the while, cheeks burning, he was trying to ignore the laughter that was coming from behind him and praying to whatever deity out there that Lily would forgive him for the earlier transgression.


	2. At a Crossroads

As Severus made his way down the corridor to the Gryffindor common room, his mind was reeling. He had to apologise for what he'd said. He hadn't meant to call her that slur. He'd just been so angry and embarrassed, and then when Potter made that comment about him being lucky he was saved, by a girl no less... It was stupid, but Severus seemed to have a knack for mucking stuff up lately. He and Lily had been fighting a lot lately, actually. He just hoped she'd forgive him. What if she didn't...? She would, wouldn't she? She'd know it was just a mistake.

As he reached the portrait that led into the Gryffindor common room, he noticed that it was closed. It was about half an hour after dinner and he assumed most of the students would be in their common room. He didn't know the password, so it looked like he was going to have to do some waiting. Surely a Gryffindor student would come out or try to enter eventually. He'd be here waiting. He didn't care how long he had to wait, he needed to talk to Lily.

He took a seat on the cold stone a few feet away from the portrait of the Fat Lady. The Fat Lady hummed, clearly wondering what Severus was up to. Slytherins never came up to Gryffindor Tower, and Severus hadn't even attempted to get in.

"What are _you_ doing, Snape?" a students voice came. It was laced with disgust. Severus recognised her immediately. It was Mary Mcdonald. The girl whom Mulciber had tried to hurt a few weeks ago. She was in Lily's year and shared a dorm with her. Hastily, Severus stood up. If he could get her to agree... it'd be perfect. There was no way Lily would ignore her.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed.

"I need you to tell Lily ..."

"I'm not telling Lily anything you have to say, you greasy git!" she scoffed. "Why would I? So you can hurt her again?"

Of course, she'd be wary. Damn it all.

"I didn't bloody well mean to, ok?" he said in a low hiss. "That's why I want to talk to her."

"Really?" she said with disbelief.

"I get it if you don't believe me, but -"

"You're right, I don't!" she hissed. "Lily has given you enough chances. Leave. I'm not passing a message along."

"Well, fine then! I guess I will have to sleep out here until she comes out," Severus said with a sneer, his determination clear as day.

"You'll have to leave by curfew," she retorted.

"I honestly don't care about a few house points or one detention," Severus said in reply. "I'm not leaving until I've talked to her."

Mary gave an annoyed huff, mumbled the password, and disappeared into the Gryffindor common room. Severus sat back down and put his head on his knees, hoping that Mary would either listen or Lily would, for some reason, come out on her own.

A few minutes passed like that, and then finally Severus heard a sound coming from the portrait hole.

He swiftly stood up as it began to open, and someone made their way out of the portrait hole.

It was Lily. She'd actually come outside. She was in her dressing gown and appeared to have just been getting reading for bed.

"What do you want, Snape?" she asked coldly, which was most unlike her.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, not wanted to give her the chance to change her mind about hearing him out.

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath," she said with her arms folded. "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here. "

"I was," he said. "I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just -"

"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. Quite unlike her. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater mates - you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth but closed it without speaking.

How could he deny it? He did want to become one, but she'd never understood. They... he'd have power. He'd be able to actually be someone! Yes, he'd have to put the work in and prove himself, but once he'd done that? He'd be set. Lucius had promised him. For someone like Severus, it was his only chance. And there was no real difference between light and dark magic anyway; just intent. You could do just as much damage with light magic.

He would surely gain political power through his service, and for someone like Severus... Well, it wasn't an opportunity he could turn down. He needed that opportunity. He wasn't a pureblood with all the right connections. This would help him. He'd actually be someone she could be proud of.

And for the ideology, his own family was a good example of why the two should never mix.

His mother, a wealthy pure-blood from a rather old family gave everything up for an arrogant arse of a Muggle, that was less than fond of magic. Magic was never really used at home, and they fought constantly.

For years they had been so wrapped up in their marital discord that they didn't even give him an ounce of attention. They just fought, fought, and fought. If he had proper clothes or food to eat was a secondary consideration. They didn't even care about where he was half the time.

His mother was a bit better than his father was, but still. She was so focused on his father, Tobias Snape. His father, on the other hand, seemingly resented anything to do with magic. He didn't like anything much these days, but that was definitely a sore spot with the former Corporal.

If he voiced any of that, though, it would only make things worse. She wouldn't, _couldn't_ , understand. He just wished he could understand her aversion to his Slytherin mates. Mulciber and Avery weren't that bad. No worse than the things Potter and his little gang got up to.

"I can't pretend anymore," she said, pulling him from his musings. "You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No - listen, I didn't mean -" _Please listen!_

" - to call me Mudblood? But you call everybody of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

"Many different reasons," he thought to himself. How could he explain what she meant to him? She was his first friend, and he actually fancied her... not that he'd ever really let on about it or told her. Should he tell her? No, of course not. He didn't have a prayer, anyway. And now of all times, it would just make him seem even more pathetic and desperate. Which he was. However, he'd prefer to keep that to himself, thank you very much.

He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole.

As he made his way down to the Slytherin dungeons, he didn't even try to fight the tears threatening to fall.

He had tried to honestly apologise. He really had.

Why didn't she accept it? How had he messed things up so badly? She couldn't really mean what she said, could she?

Stupid Marauders. This was all their fault. If Potter had just left him alone none of this would have happened.

Severus was so lost in his thoughts he didn't even notice when he found himself in front of the entrance to the Slytherin common room.

 _"Astutus,"_ he said with a sigh, knowing what was waiting for him behind that door.

The common room was a long, low underground room with rough stone walls and ceiling, from which round, greenish lamps were hanging on chains. A fire was crackling under an elaborately carved mantelpiece ahead of them, and several Slytherins were silhouetted around it in carved chairs.

Immediately upon walking in, he was hounded by quite a few of the Slytherin upper years. The group was torn between teasing him about showing more than he would like in front of half the school and congratulating him on finally getting read of Lily.

"It was about time you ditched the Mudblood," Mulciber sneered.

"Did you see her face?" Rosier snickered.

The remarks went on and on, and none of it made Severus feel the least bit better.

He wanted to tell them it was an accident, that he wasn't like that, but it would only make things worse. And if Lily was going to cut him off anyway... there was no reason to make things worse.

He'd let them think whatever they pleased.

Finally, after brushing off comment after comment, he managed to get away and sneak up to his dorm.

He quickly grabbed his belongings and went to the showers.

Placing his clothes on the bunch, he double and triple-checked that the door was locked.

That was something he hadn't done in years; not since he was a first-year and LeStrange stole his school robes. That was when he had formed a camaraderie of sorts with Lucius, actually, although, they'd obviously vaguely knew each other before.

The Malfoy heir was a Prefect at the time, which was amusing to those that knew the charismatic, blond, wizard. Lucius had a penchant for rule-breaking himself, although Lucius was quite adept at covering his tracks. They'd known each other in passing, of course. Lucius had introduced himself at the Welcoming Feast and had immediately taken interest in Severus' rather sharp tongue and slightly morbid humour. Still, they hadn't interacted that much, and when they did, it was rather one-sided. Severus hadn't known what to make of the likes of Malfoy wanting to talk to him.

In any case, Lucius had stepped in, standing up for Severus after Lestrange's little prank. The Malfoy scion had no issues saying that Severus, being the last of the Prince line as he was, and being rather talented was under his protection. As such, even if he was a half-blood he was still worthy enough to be cultivated.

Needless to say, the teasing had largely stopped. One did not simply disagree with and go against someone like Lucius. Being one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight in addition to the political power that Abraxus Malfoy had accumulated gave Lucius a certain amount of power in Slytherin. Not that Lucius wasn't just as adept as his father at accumulating power. Lucius was a Slytherin through and through and had political ambitions that were next to none.

If Lucius wanted something, you would be hard pressed to stop him.

He snorted when he remembered that Lily had been wary of that friendship too.

How did everything come back to Lily?

He let the hot water fall over him and tried to relax, fighting back more tears.

He had to talk to her again and get her to forgive him. She couldn't possibly still be mad in a few days time, could she? They'd fought before... Maybe she was just too mad? He had to try again.

He wasn't sure how long he was in the shower, but he eventually made his way out and the chaos in the common room had died down.

He threw on some pyjamas and tried to sleep.

He tossed and turned for a while, before giving up in a huff.

He grabbed a book, got back in bed, and lay there trying to focus on the book, to no avail.

Yes, he was in for a long night.


	3. Moving Forward

It had been a week since everything with Lily had transpired, and every day was, frankly, hell. Never in his life had he felt as alone as he did now. In fact, he barely did anything or felt anything, aside from the feeling of loneliness that never seemed to leave him. Even when he was in the common room surrounded by a dozen or more people. He would stare off into the distance, his expression blank and his eyes red with weariness.

"Snape, I'm talking to you. Hello, earth to Snape!"

"Huh?"

Startled, he looked around. Andrew Flint had apparently joined him at the library table where he had been sitting alone.

"What is it?" he sighed, pulling his books back toward him. He also noticed the Potions textbook in hand.

"It's nice to know you were paying attention," the boy said rather sarcastically.

"What's your question, Flint?" he said, impatience colouring every word.

Apparently, he wasn't about to let Severus' attitude stop him. "I don't get this section on the Girding Potion," the fourth-year said. "The theory, it's not my thing. Normally I wouldn't bother you, but I'm sort of desperate."

Brilliant. Why did this smell like Slughorn?

"The Girding Potion?" he sneered. "Are you sure you don't mean the Wit-sharpening potion?"

"You're a right arse, you know that?" the boy retorted. "Slughorn told me to ask." _Ha! He'd known it._ "So, will you help or not?"

"Fine," he grumbled. "Do you have your copy of the essay that was assigned? It'll help me know where you went wrong." And limit him actually having to talk to the boy because he could just scribble some notes and corrections and shove it back at him and tell him to leave. Slughorn might not exactly approve of his chosen method, but Severus didn't particularly care.

"Yes, of course!" the boy said before quickly started rummaging through his school bag.

Merlin, help him. Why had he agreed to this?

With a sigh, he picked up the offending essay and began looking it over.

He really needed to talk to Slughorn about his encouraging people to ask Severus for help with Potions work. He really did not have the patience for this. Though, most people knew him well enough to know to leave him be, thankfully.

In any case, he mostly kept to himself and buried himself in his schoolwork. He did, however, chuck a pillow at Mulciber when the aforementioned boy saw fit to inquire about what was causing Severus' - worse than usual - attitude problem.

Frankly, he wasn't in the mood to deal with his friends' antics. The story about what happened in front of the school got more and more elaborate every time someone told it, and each version made his skin crawl. They either boasted about his estrangement from Lily or decided to go into a ridiculous amount of detail about his humiliation.

If he so much as asked them to stop, he was told to get a sense of humour.

Sorry if he couldn't find anything hilarious about him being stripped in front of half the school. Nothing at all.

And even if he wasn't told to get a sense of humour, it just made the teasing worse, because they knew it bothered him. With Rosier, in particular, it just felt relentless. Gradually, however, the gossip over the Marauders' latest torture began to dim. Although, he still had a rough time of it whenever any of the older Gryffindor students were in the vicinity. Unfortunately.

Everyone had been busy the entire past week with exams. The potions exam was something that hadn't fazed Severus in the slightest, however. He found it quite easy. When he corked his phial, he felt more confident than he had all week.

The theoretical questions weren't altogether too difficult, and Severus, as per usual, excelled at the practical aspect of the exam when they'd been asked to brew the Draught of Peace. He'd already completed his exams for Transfiguration, Herbology, and History of Magic, so those were out of the way, thankfully.

History of Magic had given him a bit of a headache, really. He'd spent the previous night perched with his head in his hands, by the common room window, trying hard not to doze off as he skimmed through some of his three-and-a-half-feet-high pile of notes to see if there was anything he had missed.

The first few questions were easy. The first one took no time at all. He wrote a rather long answer to question five. (In your opinion, did wand legislation contribute to, or lead to better control of, goblin riots of the eighteenth century?). Question ten was a bit more challenging, but he was sure he had got most of the relevant details. (How was the Statute of Secrecy breached in 1749 and what measures were introduced to prevent a recurrence?).

He figured he'd passed, which was all to the good, but even he found it hard to focus in Binns' class. He did a lot of research outside the class for that course in particular, even when he did manage to take halfway decent notes. He still did better than most, though. He'd seen people sleep in that class more than once. The ghost didn't even get their names right, half the time. The situation was completely ridiculous. As such, he wanted to earn his History O.W.L so that he'd never have to sit in that class again. Which was unfortunate, as he did actually like history. The subject itself interested him, just not listening to someone drone on and on and on in a voice that made you want to sleep.

Come on, would it really be that hard to hire a living person? Apparently.

"How was your Ancient Runes exam?" asked Regulus, yawning and stretching as Severus approached the common room.

"I am positive I mistranslated Ehwaz!" he said furiously. "It means partnership rather than defence. I confused it with Eihwaz." Why did both those runes have to look so bloody similar? Oh well, no crying over spilt potion, he supposed.

"You say that like it's the end of the world," said Stebbins.

He just glared at the other boy.

"Have you been living under a rock, Gabe?" inquired Mulciber, rolling his eyes. "Look at who we're talking to."

"You're worse than some of the Ravenclaws," Avery said with a snort.

"I happen to like doing well, Callum!" he snapped. "And it could be the one mistake that makes the difference between a pass and a fail."

"Like I said..." said Avery. "Anyway, if I were you, I'd avoid the corridor leading to the staff room for some time."

"Why?"

"Someone set off dungbombs," the other boy said with a snort. "The stupid squib is losing his mind, and given the location -"

"We're going to be blamed," Severus sighed. A Dungbomb is a magical stink bomb that gives off a rather putrid odour. They weren't easy to clean up either. Severus would know. He'd been given detention doing the aforementioned task, on more than one occasion. Of course, the Caretaker was mad. Although to be fair, the Caretaker was always mad. He seemed to respect the staff, but that was it.

One of his detentions from the Caretaker was for "defacing school property." All he'd done was walk inside during a rainy day, and leave a track or two of mud. The stupid git kept mumbling about old punishments and him being found at the scene of the "crime."

"Like we'd dungbomb our own area," Regulus scoffed. "How thick do you have to be?"

"Most of the staff is daft," he deadpanned, "are you really surprised, mate?"

"Not particularly."

"I thought not."

"You know who it was though, don't you?" Mulciber said. "It _is_ kind of obvious."

"Yes," he said, quirking an eyebrow. "It would seem Regulus' big brother has frequented Zonko's again."

"He's an obnoxious git," the younger Black sneered.

"You won't get no argument from me on that," he said coolly.

His bad mood persisted for most of the weekend yet, and he spent most of his time revising for the upcoming Charms exam away from everyone else. The Charms exam was actually the one which Severus had been looking forward to the least. He wasn't nervous per se, but it was one of his weaker classes.

Severus found himself satisfied with that he'd submitted for the written exam. The practical portion was certainly not boring but was difficult enough to just pose a slight challenge. He thought he'd done reasonably well on that too.

He'd glanced at Lily as she made her way out of the exam, and she seemed quite confident. As she should; it was one of her best classes after all, and she was one of the top students in their year.

The look he received from her hurt, however.

When it came time for his Ancient Runes Exam, Severus spent every possible moment with his face in his copy of _Advanced Rune Translation._ It was a rather difficult subject, and they would be expected to translate something written in runes into English. The Professor had tried to give them as much practice before the exam as possible, but that still didn't do much in way of help. If you didn't know the runes, without the aid of the Runes Dictionary, you were in trouble.

"You look relieved to be out of that exam," Mulciber said.

"Oh, I am."

"Only one exam left," said Avery wearily as they headed back to Slytherin common room.

"Two for me. At least Ancient Runes is over," he stated. "That had to be the toughest one there is."

"You're the one who chose to take it," Avery said with a snort.

"Point taken."

Severus was glad when Care of Magical Creatures was done. It wasn't that the class was hard, but Severus has just never exactly had a way with animals. He had been bitten more than anyone else in that class.

The practical examination took place in the afternoon on the lawn on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, where students were required to correctly identify the Knarl hidden among a dozen hedgehogs (the trick was to offer them all milk in turn: Knarls, highly suspicious creatures whose quills had many magical properties, generally went berserk at what they saw as an attempt to poison them); then demonstrate correct handling of a Bowtruckle; feed and clean out a Fire Crab without sustaining serious burns; and choose, from a wide selection of food, the diet they would give a sick unicorn.

He was just glad that he didn't get burned this time.

The Astronomy theory paper on Friday morning went well. Severus was sure he had got at least most of the names of all Jupiter's moons right. They had to wait until evening for their practical Astronomy. After that, exam week would finally be over.

When they reached the top of the Astronomy Tower at eleven o'clock, they found a perfect night for stargazing, cloudless and still. The grounds were bathed in silvery moonlight and there was a slight chill in the air.

He had tried to apologise to Lily again when they were breaking off into their groups, but she just gave him a dismissive look and moved to the other side of the tower. That stung more than he'd like to admit.

Shaking his head, he focused on setting up his telescope and, when Professor Tofty gave the word, proceeded to fill in the blank star-chart they had been given.

Professors McGonagall and Tofty strolled among them, watching as they entered the precise positions of the stars and planets they were observing. All was quiet except for the rustle of parchment, the occasional creak of a telescope as it was adjusted on its stand, and the scribbling of many quills. Half an hour passed, then an hour; the little squares of reflected gold light flickering on the: ground below started to vanish as lights in the castle windows were extinguished.

As Severus completed the constellation Aries on his chart, he made a slight adjustment to the position of his telescope. He then put his eye back to his telescope and refocused it, now examining Venus.

"Five minutes left to go," said Professor Tofty.

Quickly, he moved to fill in the last two places on his chart. Handing his chart in, he threw his telescopes haphazardly back into their holders and made his way back down the spiral staircase. Finally.

Now if everyone would just leave him alone so he could get some sleep.


	4. The Year Closes

The next few days seemed to drag on. Without all the exams to focus on, Severus was even more antisocial than before. He would be returning _home_ tomorrow if you could call it that, and he was far from looking forward to it. He spent most of Saturday and Sunday with a nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He hated Spinner's End. No, scratch that. He loathed it.

The only good thing about Cokeworth had been Lily living a few blocks away, but she still refused to acknowledge him, and he was starting to think she'd never be willing to hear him out, no matter what he said to her.

Well, that was a depressing thought.

Grudgingly, he made his way down to the end-of-year, Leaving Feast, with Mulciber, and watched as Lily took her set at the Gryffindor table upon entering the Great Hall, which was already, and unsurprisingly, exceedingly packed with students.

The hall was decked out in Slytherin colours of green and silver, to celebrate Slytherin's winning the House Cup, for the second year in succession.

Walking in, he slipped into a seat at the end of the Slytherin table, near some first-years who were not likely to bother him. It was more likely the opposite actually, as he was so much older, they would most likely just leave him alone altogether.

After a few minutes of Severus sitting in awkward silence, listening to the first-years, everyone finally hushed; the babbling dying away as Dumbledore had arrived.

"Another year is gone!" Dumbledore said cheerfully. "And I must trouble you with an old man's wheezing waffle before we sink our teeth into our delicious feast. What a year it has been! Hopefully, your heads are all a little fuller than they were… you have the whole summer ahead to get them nice and empty before next year starts."

Everyone remained silent.

"Now, as I understand it, the House Cup here needs awarding," the Headmaster declared. "The points stand at this: in fourth place; Hufflepuff, with three hundred and eighteen points; in third, Gryffindor, with three hundred and forty-three; Ravenclaw have four hundred and twelve, and Slytherin, four hundred and fifty-two."

A storm of cheering and stamping broke out from the Slytherin table. Severus could see Regulus Black banging his goblet on the table. Severus found it rather trying, although he couldn't help but smirk.

"Yes, yes, well done, Slytherin," said Dumbledore.

The old wizard raised his hand, and the room gradually fell silent.

"Now I would like to say a few words before we all become too befuddled by our excellent feast," stated Dumbledore. "It is my belief – and never have I so hoped that I am mistaken – that we are all facing dark and difficult times. Some of you, in this hall, I speak directly to you. Every day every hour, this very minute perhaps, dark forces try to penetrate this castle's walls, but in the end, their greatest weapon is you."

He then paused to let it sink in.

"Furthermore, it is not in numbers but in unity that our great strength lies," the Headmaster said. "It is sad when the people you know become people you _knew_. People change and forget to tell each other. Just something to think about." At this, the Headmaster waved his hand and wandlessly put out the candle.

At the Headmaster's words, Severus felt a lump form in his throat. It was hard to breathe. Unable to stop himself, he stole a quick glance in Lily's direction. She was also looking in his direction but quickly turned away. Severus couldn't meet her eyes; accusing as they were.

"Are you ok?" It was Mulciber.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Avery said.

"Yes."

"Hmmm."

After the feast, they all made their way back to their common room, and everyone finished packing and double checked their trunks.

Then, the older prefects sent the younger students off to their dorms, turned on some music, and brought out some alcohol that the sixth-years had smuggled in from Hogsmeade.

"Slughorn will know," he said with an eye-roll.

"Are you kidding?" the prefect said. "He'd probably getting drunk with a couple members of staff himself."

Well, that couldn't exactly be argued. The chances were rather likely.

"Nobody is fighting and the younger years are already in bed. Stop being a spoilsport."

"Honestly."

"Swat."

"Hmmm."

"Here, you look like you could use one." A tumbler of firewhisky was shoved into Severus' hand.

He opened his mouth to say he didn't feel like drinking. The smell made him sick, honestly. It smelled too strongly of Tobias Snape, who he would be, unfortunately, going home to tomorrow.

All of a sudden having a drink or two didn't seem like such a bad idea, and he put the glass to his lips. "Don't let me do anything stupid."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Mulciber said with a mischevious grin.

"You do realise how much embarrassing material I have on you?" he said with a snort.

"Touché."

Avery put his own glass of Blishen's finest to his lips. The seventh-year prefect then got everyone's attention. He then went on to say some useless prattle Severus ignored and then made a small toast.

"To summer."

"To summer," he said with an eye-roll.

"Who wants to play Never Have I Ever?" he heard Evan Rosier's voice call across the common room.

Immediately there was excited prattle.

"That'd be fun," Mulciber said with a smirk.

"Or something," he said with a snort.

Severus definitely paid the price for the night before when he woke up with the worst headache he had had in a long time. He made sure to get something in his system at breakfast and then it was time for the journey home on the Hogwarts Express. Severus, Mulciber, Avery and Stebbins got a compartment to themselves. They made the most of the last few hours in which they were really allowed to do magic before the holidays. They played Exploding Snap among other things until towards the end of the ride Severus pulled out a book trying to distract himself from what he was going home to while listening to everyone else chatter happily about their plans for the summer holidays.

Unfortunately, all too soon it was time to change into his shabby muggle clothing and get ready to alight from the train.

"You were awfully quiet," Stebbins said as they got off the Express and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "Well, more than usual."

"He's right," said Mulciber.

"And?"

"Just an observation," Stebbins said.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Avery asked.

"I'm fine."

"If you say so, Snape."

"I'm fine, Avery."

Thankfully the boys seemed to get the hint and changed the topic, starting to say their goodbyes.

And with that, Severus walked back through the gateway to the Muggle world. His face never wavered from its natural stoic expression until he glanced back at the barrier sadly before he closed his father's car door behind him.


	5. A Case of the Summer Blues

The next two weeks had been among the longest in Severus' life. He spent most of his time shut up in his room, shooting flies, and trying to avoid his parents' latest fighting match. He'd already finished his summer homework, having nothing else to do. Normally, he'd spend most of his time out of the house, but given the only real spot for him to go was frequented by Lily...

He sighed... why did everything always come back to her?

Why did he have to muck things up so badly? And why did she have to be so damn stubborn and side with Potter?

He kicked the small desk in his room and hissed something under his breath.

As usual, an argument had broken out over breakfast at number three, Spinner's End. His father had been woken in the early hours of the morning by a loud, hooting noise from his son's room.

He'd received an invitation to Malfoy Manor but had little motivation to do anything, and just chucked it in the nearest rubbish bin. He wasn't in the mood to be surrounded by a bunch of haughty pure-bloods and listen to Bellatrix Black call him a _filthy half-blood_ all evening. However, it had been too little too late. His father had already been less than impressed with the noise coming from the owl.

"I thought I made it damn clear I didn't want any of those owls around," his father hissed.

"Father, I -"

"No excuses," his father said, glaring. "You tell your freaky little friends to stop. I will not stand for it. Understood."

"Yes, father," he said, knowing full well arguing would get him nowhere. "It will not happen again."

His father gave a curt nod. "Good."

"Don't be too hard on the boy, Toby," his mother said, finally speaking. "It's not like he knew someone had written to him."

He didn't quite catch his father's reply.

He missed Hogwarts so much it was like having a constant stomachache. He missed the castle, with its secret passageways and ghosts, his classes, the mail arriving by owl, eating banquets in the Great Hall, sleeping in his four-poster bed in the Slytherin common room. He didn't miss the Mauraders, but they were a lot more tolerable than his father at the moment.

All his spellbooks, his wand, robes, and cauldron had been, as usual, locked up the instant Severus had come home. His mother had a key and usually gave him access when his father was at work, so he could do his summer homework, but that was about it. His father permitted that simply because if Severus didn't get through school he'd amount to even less than his father was already certain he would. Once he was home though, the books were put away and Severus was expected to act _normal_ , whatever that meant in the Snape household.

His father had grown up in a rather conservative family and then joined the military and had severed more than a few tours overseas. As far as he was concerned, having a wizard in the family was a matter of deepest shame. He was less than impressed with that fact that his mother, Eileen, had kept the fact that she was a witch to herself before they married. A fact that was, rather frequently, thrown about.

They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat.

"Get the mail, lad!" his father said from behind his paper.

Grumbling something under his breath, he went to get the mail. Most of it was bills, and uncommittedly, he tossed them on the kitchen table before taking a bite of toast.

The second he was finished, he made to leave the room. He wasn't hanging around his parents more than necessary, and they didn't seem to care one way or the other.

He went back up to his room for a bit, but there wasn't much to do. Eventually, he got so bored of laying around that he got up, found his mother downstairs, doing laundry and mumbled, "I'm going out."

"Be back by supper."

He gave a curt nod. "Yes, mother."

With that, he put on a pair of shoes and left the house. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he just knew he had to get out of that house, even if just for a little bit. Apparently cabin fever was a real thing.

So, with no real destination in mind, he walked, not even registering where his feet were taking him until he stopped and realised he's walked right to their spot. He glanced around. Lily wasn't there, for now, at least. With a sigh, he took refuge in the shade of a Black alder.

He really should have thought to bring a book, but then again, this wasn't exactly planned.

Oh, well.

He sprawled himself under the tree, and just let his thoughts drift, ignoring the time as it passed. Most of his thoughts turned towards Lily and all the times they'd played in this very spot over the years.

He sighed.

Why did he have to go a mess everything up?

 _Lily had picked up a fallen twig and twirled it in the air, and Severus knew that she was imagining sparks trailing from it. Then she dropped the twig, leaned in toward the boy, and said, "It is real, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It is real, isn't it?"_

 _"It's real for us," he said. "Not for her. But we'll get the letter, you and me."_

 _"Really?" whispered Lily._

 _"Definitely," he said, and even with his poorly cut hair and his odd clothes, he struck an oddly impressive figure sprawled in front of her, brimful of confidence in his destiny._

 _"And will it really come by owl?" she whispered again._

 _"Normally," he said. "But you're Muggle-born, so someone from the school will have to come and explain to your parents."_

 _"Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?"_

 _He hesitated. His black eyes, eager in the greenish gloom, moved over the pale face, the dark red hair._

 _"No," he said. "It doesn't make any difference."_

 _"Good," said Lily, relaxing: It was clear that she had been worrying._

 _"You've got loads of magic," he said after a moment. "I saw that. All the time I was watching you . . ."_

 _His voice trailed away; she was not listening, but had stretched out on the leafy ground and was looking up at the canopy of leaves overhead._

He sighed, pulled back into his thoughts.

 _There were three people on the playground. One was swinging unnaturally high and wearing a large emerald green Christmas knit jumper over red tights. She also had a green beanie on which covered her thick dark red hair._

 _Severus was watching her swing back and forth, the two chattering amicably._

 _A bit farther away Petunia was standing with her arms crossed; she had always resented Lily's abilities and their friendship._

 _Getting off the swing, Lily threw a snowball at Severus._

 _At first, he was caught off guard but then decided to go for it. He made a snowball and fired._

 _"This is war," he said with a grin._

 _"Bring it, Mister!" she said with a laugh, dodging a snowball aimed at her arm._

 _After the pair had a rather intense snowball fight, they made a rather large snowman. They were then called by Lily's mother, and they went to eat supper at the Evanses home._

Unfortunately, he wasn't left with his thoughts for very long before he got violently pulled back to reality but a voice he would have recognised anywhere.

"What are you doing here, Snape?" she said with her best attempt at a sneer. If Severus wasn't mistaken, he was sure that there was a small twinge of pity in her eyes as she looked him over.

He quickly wracked his brain for a non-embarrassing response and forced himself to speak.

"Well?"

"I just needed to get out of the house."

"Hmmm."

"I'll... I'll just be going," he said with a sigh. "Sorry."

Not meeting her eyes, he quickly ran away, leaving a pensive Lily behind.

Well, he had been avoiding that spot for a reason, hadn't he?

Well, back to his routine of hiding out in his bedroom all day with a book when he wasn't doing chores for his father. Severus would be woken up at seven-thirty for breakfast, which was cooked by his mother. They never made him help cook, but he was expected to help clean up after every meal. Once Tobias had left for work, his mother insisted on him studying for at least an hour and then she actively started sending him out of the house, saying she was tired of his moping around. Severus had fought fervently against being forced to go out and do nothing but his mother quickly made it clear that one way or another he would be getting out of the house.

Yes, he was in for a _very_ long summer.


	6. Of Fathers and Sons

Things did not overly improve for Severus in the ensuing weeks, although he had to admit that at least getting out of his room was helping somewhat. That came with its own issues though, as Severus had no other real place to go in town and had to deal with some obnoxious comments and such coming from other people about the dole and other comments when they glanced at him. They seemed to be under the rather mistaken impression that he bloody well chose _this_. How daft could you get? He just had the sheer dumb luck to be born into the situation. He'd left with his blood boiling.

He had no idea why he was even letting these comments get to him. It wasn't as though he hadn't heard them many times before.

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

After he graduated from Hogwarts, he was going to make something of himself. He was not going to be like his parents.

He refused. Absolutely refused.

He wanted out of this stupid mill town.

Eventually, he made the short trip to Diagon Alley to buy one or two things that he needed for the upcoming school year. His mother had, thankfully, saved up enough for a 'new' pair of robes. Even though they were still second hand, at least they fit a bit better and weren't quite as worn out as his other ones. Severus had grown some the last couple months and the old robes just really weren't going to fit anymore. Of course, the new ones were second hand as well, but same as with the shoes, there was a noticeable difference in their condition.

After the rather limited shopping, Severus started counting the days before he'd be back at Hogwarts again and going back to hiding out in the back of the library as most people hated him and he doubted the Marauders would back off.

He sighed. He'd been so excited about Hogwarts when he'd been little.

He could remember sitting at _their_ spot, and he'd go on telling Lily stories about the wizarding world and sharing the bits of knowledge he'd had.

Why did everything have to come right back to her?

He shook his head. Everything had changed.

Sometimes, he wondered what things would have been like if he'd gone to Durmstrang or something. No Mauraders.

Of course, that wouldn't change his poverty or general inclination to be a loner, but, no Mauraders? Paradise. Although, that would have meant never going to school with Lily.

Well, that's sort of a moot point now, isn't it, Dunderhead? You went a screwed that up nicely.

Damn it all. _They_ were at it again.

Arguing. Always with the arguing.

His mother was shouting at his father again, and, also again, Severus seemed to be the favourite topic of conversation. For once he'd like it if they just bloody well left him out of it. It's not like they cared what he was doing half the time anyway.

He was sick of it.

"I don't care if he got canny good grades!" his father roared. "He should be gettin' a proper job, like a _real_ gadgie."

"But Tobias, he has not even graduated yet!" his mother said. "He's so smart, he could go somewhere, unlike…"

"Don't you say it," his father hissed. "Don't you even start to say it."

"All I'm saying is..." his mother started.

"Aah, yer always _just sayin'_ , Eileen!"

"Will you stop and listen for one bloody second?"

"I am listenin', Leena!"

"Hmmm," his mother said, most likely sneering. "Proper job, then, as always!"

By this time, Severus knew that he should shut his door and tune it out. If he even so much as showed his face outside his door, his parents would drag him into the fight, and he couldn't stand to side with either of them. If he supported his mother, his father would go into a rage. If he sided with his father, however, he would see the hurt in his mother's eyes. It was a lose-lose situation, and he refused to get involved. He quietly got up from the chair, near the window, where he was sitting, and closed his bedroom door.

Making his way back towards his bed, he picked up the newspaper that was scattered on his bedside table. This particular copy bore the headline:

 **BAGNOLD SUCCEEDS MINCHUM**

Most of this front page was taken up with a large black-and-white picture of a woman with shoulder length blonde hair, parted to the side. parchment-like skin, and sunken cheeks. She also looked rather thin. The picture was moving - the woman was waving at the ceiling.

 _Millicent Bagnold previously Head of the Improper Use of Magic Office in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, has succeeded Harold Minchum as Minister of Magic. The appointment has largely been greeted with enthusiasm by the Wizarding community, though rumours of plans for Azkaban surfaced within hours of Bagnold taking office._

 _Bagnold's representatives admitted that they did indeed have plans for improving the conditions of Azkaban, but also stated that there are no plans to lessen the Prison's security. Instead, they plan to be proactive about the extreme overpopulation of Dementors standing guard (cont. page 3, column 2)._

Severus never finished the article though. He had suddenly stopped. The banging coming from below had come to a halt.

"LAD!" a voice roared from downstairs.

Over a decade and a half of frequently being addressed thus left Severus in no doubt to whom his father was referring. Nevertheless, he did not immediately respond.

He then heard footsteps, which were growing louder, and he knew that his father most likely planned to make his way upstairs. It was stupid, pointless, and irritating beyond belief that he still had to put up with his father's attitude. He might be an adult in the wizarding world and allowed to do magic, but that meant absolutely nothing in the Muggle world. The incessant noise grew in intensity until a resounding knock came from the door.

"Go away," he said through the door, trying to sound bored as if his father was merely wasting his time. Meanwhile, he quickly tucked the Prophet under his pillow.

"Open the door!" Tobias's deep voice boomed.

"I said," repeated Severus pointedly, "to go away… Father." He spat the last word contemptuously, as though it left a bad taste in his mouth.

Tobias kicked the door, with rattled it, but didn't open it. Severus, knowing it was pointless to ask the man to go away for the third time, made his way over to the door. He opened it with a violent tug. Sure enough, his father was standing there, slightly taller than his son. His eyes were bloodshot and narrowed as he peered down the end of his hooked nose at his soon.

"And I told you to open yer door," his father hissed. "Don't test me patience, lad."

"Aye, sir!" Severus hastily said, hating how meek it came out. "Sorry, sir."

Tobias moved closer to his son, and Severus instantly felt for his wand.

"I should've snapped yer wand years ago like I did yer mum's," his father sneered. "You're a disgrace, the lot of you wizards and witches. Yer filthy mum never told me what I was gettin' meself into, and then, barely a year after she forced me hand, she spat you out. A waste of space if I've ever seen one, aren't you? Now all you do is come back speakin' all poncy like."

Severus clenched his fists, forcing himself not to retort. There was no point in escalating the situation any, as it would do more harm than good – namely to him.

"You don't think you're better than me, d'yer, lad?" Tobias sneered.

"No, Da! I swear, I -" he stammered looking at the ground, his northern accent more than starting to seep through. "Sorry."

His father nodded.

"Good. Yer mum and I've been speakin'," the elder Snape said.

"You mean shoutin'!" he snapped, immediately regretting it. His father raised the back of his hand swiftly to Severus' face.

"Don't talk back to me!" his father hissed. "You will show respect in this house, or d'yer need more red in yer cheeks like?"

"Sorry, Da!" he said quickly. "It won't happen again."

"It better not," his father said. "In any case, before I was interrupted, I was about to tell you that yer mother and I were talkin' about yer future. Yer mother thinks that you should wait until after you've graduated, but I reckon you should find yerself a summer job next year. What d'yer think?"

"As if I had a choice," Severus thought snidely to himself. He held his tongue, and instead, he said, "I haven't any experience, Da. It might take some time."

His father quirked an eyebrow. "No attitude."

"I'm not givin' you any, sir," he said quickly. "I just don't know if any prospective employers will find it worth it."

"What's the harm in trying?" his father said simply. "A little effort too much for you?"

"No, sir."

"Good." His father nodded in approval. "Good for nothin' as you are, you're still mine, and a bairn of mine will work proper, mind. I won't have you being lazy like. Now, stop acting like a proper workyticket, and go do summat." Without waiting for a response his father left the room, making his way back downstairs.

"Bloody brilliant," he whispered under his breath, a frown forming on his lips. What was he going to do now? His father was delusional if he thought anyone was going to hire a mere impoverished schoolboy, with no qualifications. Especially when they learned his name. If his father's reputation didn't follow him into the workforce, he'd be surprised.

He sighed. His life just kept getting better and better.


	7. Back to Hogwarts

The trip to Hogwarts was nothing special this year. Any excitement that Severus had about returning to the castle he called home for ten months of the year had faded immediately at seeing Lily talking amicably with James Potter of all people as everyone started loading onto the platform. Was she really picking Potter over him? Well, he shouldn't be surprised. He did call her that, and hadn't she smiled during the trousers incident when Potter was flirting with her?

Damn it all. He didn't think he could stomach having to see those two being all friendly for the next two years.

"Snape! Earth to Snape!"

"What?" he hissed to the boy trying to get his attention.

"You've not been paying attention at all the train ride," Mulciber said. "What's got your wand in a knot?"

"Drop it, Mulciber."

"Fine."

"Grouch," he heard Avery grumble.

"I hope you're not just realising this," he said with a snort. "Have you ever known me to suffer dunderheads lightly?"

"OI!"

"Did I mention names?" he deadpanned with a quirked eyebrow.

Mulciber snickered. "There's the Snape we've come to know."

He rolled his eyes.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I am going to throw on my school robes," Avery said. "We should be arriving soon."

He glanced outside, taking in the Scottish countryside through the train window. "Agreed. Not long now."

The other two boys quickly through on their school uniforms, Severus having taken, as usual, the first opportunity to do so. He hated his muggle clothes, and once on the train, it was one of the first things he did. Every single time.

Sure enough, it didn't take more than ten minutes before they all arrived at Hogsmeade station.

After getting off the express they all took the same carriage up to the castle, and before they knew it they were sitting down and the Start-of-term Feast starting.

The Great Hall looked like its usual splendid self. Decorated for the start-of-term feast, Golden plates and goblets gleamed by the light of hundreds and hundreds of candles, floating over the tables in mid-air. The four long house tables were packed with chattering students; at the top of the Hall, the staff sat along one side of a fifth table, facing their pupils.

Having finally taken a seat at the centre of the Slytherin table, Severus watched as the doors of the Great Hall opened, and silence fell over the chatter of the Hall. Professor McGonagall was leading a long line of first-years up to the top of the hall. All of them were shaking from nerves as they filed along the staff table and came to a halt in a queue facing the rest of the school.

Profession McGonagall now placed a three-legged stool on the ground before the first-years and, on top of it, an extremely old, dirty, patched wizard's hat. The first-years stared at it, as did everyone else. For a moment, there was silence. Then the hat twitched. A rip near the brim opened wide like a mouth - and the hat began to sing:

 ** _'A thousand years or more ago_**

 ** _When I was newly sewn,_**

 ** _There lived four wizards of renown,_**

 ** _Whose names are still well known:_**

 ** _Godric Gryffindor the courageous,_**

 ** _Rowena Ravenclaw the clever,_**

 ** _Salazar Slytherin the cunning,_**

 ** _Helga Hufflepuff who's ever loyal,_**

 ** _The founders four were united,_**

 ** _Yes, they had a common goal,_**

 ** _They made this school of ours,_**

 ** _To pass on magical knowledge,_**

 ** _Though, they prized different things,_**

 _ **In those they sought to teach,**_

 _ **But how to sort you when they were gone?**_

 _ **Gryffindor had quite the solution,**_

 _ **He took me right off his head,**_

 _ **And brought me here to life,**_

 ** _Now I am bound to sort you,_**

 ** _But I fear the end that this may bring,_**

 ** _The Falcon, the snake, the badger, the lion,_**

 ** _These make the Hogwarts houses four,_**

 ** _Before I sort you, I must tell you,_**

 ** _Houses, you must unit, please don't fight,_**

 ** _Alas, now, it's time to sort you all,_**

 ** _As I must do year after year,_**

 ** _Try me on, I've never yet been wrong,_**

 ** _And I'll show you just where you belong!'_**

The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song, although it was punctured for the first time in Severus's memory. It bowed to each of the four tables and then became quite still again.

The Sorting Hat usually confined itself to describing the different qualities looked for by each of the four Hogwarts houses and its own role in sorting them. Severus could not remember it ever trying to give the school advice before.

Whispers broke out over the warning the hat had given, and Professor McGonagall, who was waiting to read out the list of first-years' names, was giving the whispering students the sort of look that scorches. The muttering came to an abrupt end, and with a last frowning look that swept the four house tables, Professor McGonagall lowered her eyes to her long piece of parchment and called out the first name.

"Adams, Bentley."

A terrified-looking boy stumbled forwards and put the Hat on his head; it was only prevented from falling right down to his shoulders by his very prominent ears. The Hat considered for a moment, then the rip near the brim opened again and shouted: "Gryffindor!"

The Gryffindor table clapped loudly as Bentley Adams staggered to their table and sat down, looking as though he would like very much to sink through the floor and never be looked at again.

"The hat must have coughed," Rosier said with a snicker.

"Cowardly little thing," Mulciber said with a laugh.

"Well, what do you expect?" Avery sneered. "That's not a wizarding last name."

"Certainly not," agreed Rosier.

"Most likely a mudblood," Mulciber said.

"Or a half-blood," he said with a note of disdain.

"Only marginally better," Rosier said. "Although, those with enough talent can be forgiven."

"Much obliged," said Severus with an eye roll.

Slowly the long line of first-years thinned, and Severus's stomach was rumbling loudly. Finally, 'Zeller, Kelly" was sorted into Hufflepuff, and Professor McGonagall picked up the Hat and stool and marched them away as Professor Dumbledore rose to his feet.

"To our newcomers," said Dumbledore in a ringing voice, his arms stretched wide and a beaming smile on his lips, "welcome! To our old hands – welcome back! I have only two words to say to you; tuck in!"

"Hear, hear," Severus heard Crabbe and Goyle, two giant oafs, cry from the other side of the table.

"Dunderheads," he quipped.

"True that," said Rosier with a light chuckle. "That wasn't exactly classy."

Not seconds later, and the empty dishes filled magically before their eyes.

Severus loaded his plate, giving himself a rather generous serving of mashed potatoes.

Once everyone had their fill, the remains of the first course vanished and were replaced instantly with puddings.

"Yes, they have Treacle Tart!"

"You're going to make yourself sick, Mulciber!" he said, shaking his head. "Do you wish for a repeat of first year?"

"What are you, my mother?" Mulciber said, placing another helping on his plate with a smirk. "I'll be fine."

"To each their own," he said with a shrug. He then helped himself to a small portion of custard tart.

When the puddings, too, had been demolished, and the last crumbs had faded off the plates, leaving them sparkling clean, Albus Dumbledore got to his feet again. The buzz of chatter filling the Hall ceased almost at once.

"So!" said Dumbledore, smiling around at them all. "Now that we are all fed and watered, I must once more ask for your attention, while I give out a few notices.

"Mr Pringle, the caretaker, has asked me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has this year been extended to include Screaming Yo-yos and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. The full list comprises some four hundred and thirty-six items, I believe, and can be viewed in Mr Pringle's office, if anybody would like to check it."

Now the corners of Dumbledore's mouth twitched.

"As ever, I would like to remind you all that the Forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students, as is the village of Hogsmeade to all those bellow third year," continued Dumbledore.

At this Severus smirked to himself. He'd snuck out there once or twice to pick some of the plants that were useful for potions. Not very often, though, and he never went too far in. That conversation with Slughorn had been amusing, however. His Head of House had been torn between an odd pride that someone cared so much about potions and his having to scold the aforementioned student for the very same passion.

That was one of the rare times Severus actually felt treated fairly, however. Although, McGonagall typically did a really good job of it. Flitwick as well.

"And now, before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" cried Dumbledore.

Dumbledore gave his wand a little flick as if he was trying to get a fly off the end and a long golden ribbon flew out of it, which rose high above the tables and twisted itself snake-like into words.

"Everyone, pick their favourite tune," encouraged Dumbledore. "And off we go!"

And the school bellowed.

 _ **'Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,**_

 _ **Teach us something please,**_

 _ **Whether we be old and bald**_

 _ **Or young with scabby knees,**_

 _ **Our heads could do with filling**_

 _ **With some interesting stuff,**_

 _ **For now they're bare and full of air,**_

 _ **Dead flies and bits of fluff,**_

 _ **So teach us things worth knowing,**_

 _ **Bring back what we've forgot,**_

 _ **Just do your best, we'll do the rest,**_

 _ **And learn until our brains all rot.'**_

Everybody finished the song at different times, and when they finished, Dumbledore was one of those who clapped loudest.

"Ah, music," said Dumbledore. "A magic beyond all we do here. Now, it is late, and I know how important it is to you all to be alert and rested as you enter your lessons tomorrow morning. Bedtime! Chop chop!"

Quickly the chattering crowds began to make their way out of the Great Hall, and Dumbledore sat down again and turned to talk to Hagrid.

Having had enough to eat and not having the desire to socialise much more, Severus was rather happy to follow the first-years as they were escorted down to the dungeons.

A perfect, Andromeda Black, then told them the password and they all made their way into the dorms.

"Oh look, they changed the curtains."

"About time the house elves did that," Avery said with a snort. "When did you set fire to those?"

"About two weeks before the end of school."

"Such an accomplishment," he drawled.

"Why thank you," Stebbins said with a grin.

Severus just shook his head. His dormmates were complete idiots most of the time.

Most of his dorm mates tried to stay awake, chatting some, but eventually, they drifted off, leaving Severus the only one still awake, but groggy.

When he woke up the next morning he didn't even remember falling asleep.


End file.
